Time for some quotes

“Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey!”

A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.

I have reached the point

that she is no longer welcome in our home.   :-( :-( :-(

She went back there again.

This is so fucking hard.

I'm repeating my mantra. I'm repeating my mantra.  I'm repeating the fucking mantra!!!!!

In the very wise words of a friend of mine:

Don't beat yourself up about him. You know it only makes you upset and he gets a kick about it and most likely so does she.  Go home and have a nice night.  I would think she will go over to his place each and every weekend because she gets what she wants. You need to look at it this way.....

You have said you can only do what you can the rest you have to turn a blind eye too. Well this is another one where you need to close you eyes and try hard not to think about it. Sorry my dear.

Kids as such shits aren't they.

Day 7 is a slap together

I'll just have toast and tuna today.  I'm going to a lunch session on getting better sleep.  Ha!!!  We'll see how it goes.

So, she's back.  Her run lasted three days.  Mum is just so rude to her, it's not helping her self-esteem at all.  She disappeared again in the middle of the night, at least she left me a note!!

I really need to try to ignore this, and focus on him.  He needs it.  So, I will repeat all my cliches again.

Easy Does It. One Day at a Time.  I can't worry about tomorrow because I don't know what will happen, and it's too late to worry about what happened yesterday.  Faith is fear that has said its prayers.

I love you Darling, and I pray that your higher power will keep you safe until she returns you to me.  Love, Mum.

Day 6 is a flop

So I'm buying lunch today.  My theory about having Wednesday nights to myself now that C is in scouts, isn't going to work out, methinks.  It's difficult fitting in all the people I need to.

I'm very concerned about her behaviour.  She left on Monday and I started out angry, but have moved on to concern.  I'm looking into ways to build her self-esteem, so am wondering if on Thursday nights C and I should travel out there for subway.  I'm thinking about this!!  And I had to pack up some of her gear last night, so we both wrote a quick little note to her.  Hopefully she will appreciate it!!

Easy Does It. One Day at a Time.  I can't worry about tomorrow because I don't know what will happen, and it's too late to worry about what happened yesterday.  Faith is fear that has said its prayers.

I love you Darling, and I pray that your higher power will keep you safe until she returns you to me.  Love, Mum.

Before today becomes tomorrow...

Day 5 was tuna, broccoli and chickpea salad.  Yummm! 

I started cleaning out her room last night - as sad as I am about her rebellion, I am looking forward to getting back to just my son and I.  I am looking forward to letting go of the emotional clutter (to the degree that I can!!) and getting my relationships back on track.  She really was a whirlwind while she was here, but she doesn't seem to be so much that way for my parents, but who knows with her anymore?

I do miss my little girl, but she has been gone a long time now.  I'm trying to like what is in her place.. :-(

Day 4 - mushrooms on toast!

Well, they're a vegetable, right?  Hehe!!! 

Well, M has moved out.  Didn't like that I tried to enforce responsibility - like actually going to work!!  And I got cranky, so she refused to come home.  She found another course to go to, and arranged for her grandparents to pick her up.  I'm still bitterly angry at the person that enabled the whole affair, but am powerless to change it so must get over it.

Sigh.

What are we up to? Day 3?

Just leftover chicken and veggies for lunch - chicken was marinated in lime peel, lime juice, olive oil and coriander.  Yummy!! 

Yes, I bought the digital camera.  I do have another one, making it a duplication, but this is a great udgrade, and the kids can still use the old one.

I spent the weekend trying to be organised, and getting nowhere fast.  I was chauffeur most of the weekend, but I did also buy a couple of lovely photo frames for the loungeroom, and have filled the wheelie bin again, and gotten rid of a pile of stuff to the RSPCA shop.  Yippee!!  Now to get back onto that garage!!!

Days 1 and 2 of bringing my lunch

We had a public holiday so I was less than organised and didn't take lunch on day one, but we do have a little stash here, so I made toast and vegemite.  And Day 2 will be a chicken salad, with leftover chicken from a meal a few night's ago.

But in good news, I did clean out some rubbish from mu cupboard, C's room and some in M's room.  M's room will be a work in progress for a few years to come!!  I got rid of the old outdoor chairs, and filled the backseat of the car with junk for a Vinnie's run.  And filled the wheelie bin to boot!!

M thinks she might like to move out soon with friends, so asked that I keep the cane hutch.  Mmmmm....

And of course, I had to ban mobiles from the home phone completely - $200 a month just for her doesn't work for me!!  Took me a little while to work out how she kept finding that pin!!

Teenagers do not = simplicity!!!

I have my tax return, so will sit down sometime over the weekend and smash a pile of my debt down.  First, the credit card, and then the mortgage.  By the time I catch up on some bills, there won't be so much left!!! Ah well, at least it's there!!

My heart set

Aaahh, but I do have my heart set on a new digital camera.  Something to record the kiddies as they grow up.  I almost lost my computer to a virus last week, so I have also learned the importance of backing things up!!  I want a Fuji Finepix s1600, I found them form a local electronics store for $328.

Now, I just need to find out how to pay for one.  I will be back tomorrow with an updated budget and updates on my recent windfall (tax!!)

The Rising Debt

I have started on this journey to simplify my life, which I am managing to do in small ways, but then others take a dramatic backward turn.  I am documenting my debt levels for the last five months, and I am mortified to find that it has actually risen every month!!  And for July, it rose more than $600!!  I am living beyond my means.  I know where some of the problem lies (a daughter not paying her way), but the rest of it lies with me for not compensating for this disability.

I've said it before, and I'm saying it again, it starts now with getting back on track.  I was so good when I met my mortgage four years ago, but a teenage rebellious daughter and an improved social life are impeding my debt reduction efforts. 

So, I resolve to:

1. Bring my lunch for a year,
2.  Not using my credit card ( I will freeze it tonight!), and reduce its limit each time I can decrease it (startingat $5000)
3.  Clear out the rest of the clutter in my life:  cane hutch and garage tonight.

I will pop back in tomorrow and keep you updated.  Man, this seems like hard work!!! :-)